"Hope is the thing with feathers.”
Even if it crashes,
at least it flew.
Dare then, to crash,
Lest you never leave the ground.
This is for those of you who failed this year. Who never tried very hard in school but decided this spring to work toward a 4.0. You, who finished with a 3.2 instead. Who had a crush on a girl and asked her out despite your racing heart and clammy hands and massive fear of embarrassment or rejection, you, who dialed her up on the phone or approached her after class one day, only for her to say… No. Thank you, but no. Who had a New Years Resolution that fell off the wagon in June or March or January 19th.
For you who earnestly tried, for any length of time.
Congratulations. Any feeling of failure means you set a goal at all. And if you feel that you let yourself down, well, that feeling is an indicator that you— at the very least, a small part of you— still cares.
And that, we can work with. That tiny inkling of care— that is the seed that gives way to motivation, to passion, to desire. And that, coupled with light and fuel and time, grows into drive, habit, and perhaps eventual success. But it starts with a seed. And no one else can plant it for you; only you can make yourself want it at the start.
This New Years, may you acknowledge your failure, but not shame yourself for it. May you take the time to question if you still care about that thing you once set out to do. Question earnestly and without judgment for the answer, whatever it may be. But if you find that the answer is still Yes, may you have the courage and the faith in yourself to try again– and again if you must, and yet, and yet… Again.
Lean into this feeling that you failed. It’s okay! Sometimes (usually) it takes a million failures before your first success. People only publicize the success, which is why failing feels so personally abnormal. But it’s not. If anything, failure tends to be the common denominator in the best success stories.
Now, don’t shame yourself for feeling ashamed either. Those negative feelings from having missed something you wanted, they are indicators of your passion and your care. So keep trying.
Here is a mantra I wrote last week for myself. I hope it may be of help to any of you, dear readers and friends:
Rejection means you had the Courage to Ask;
Disappointment means you had the Courage to Hope;
Failure means you had the Courage to Try.
Keep failing. Fail forward.
Keep trying,
Keep hoping,
Stay earnest.
A swing and a miss is better than never stepping up to the plate.
Swing over and over and over again.
Happy New Year. (Side note: as I wrote this, I discovered that the proper greeting is “Happy New Year,” and not “New Years” with an S at the end. I’m 23 in ’23 and still learning something new every day!). May this past year’s uphill battle serve as a ramp to send you on your way, a stair toward a higher story, a struggle that made you stronger and taller even if all you feel is that it slowed you down. Slow progress is progress, and switchbacks still contribute to the climb even when they turn away from the peak. In 2024, may you find a crack in the clouds to appreciate the view, even if you feel winded, discouraged, or slow. And most of all, may you earnestly Keep pressing on.
The More the Marianer 