Book: I Might Regret This by Abbi Jacobson
Where I Found It: Pelican Bay Bookstore (Anacortes, Washington).
Why I Bought It:
They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but it was this book’s cover that first caught my eye on a wall of book-spines. The title was also captivating. I Might Regret This is a collection of “essays, drawings, vulnerabilities, and other stuff,” as the subtitle accurately suggests, about Jacobson’s solo female road trip from New York to California in an attempt to find herself and heal after a particularly devastating breakup.
As a single woman who also went on a road trip alone this past summer, I thought it was a wonderful premise to a book! The enneagram Seven in me also just couldn’t resist a good traveling novel.
Reading Process:
Since Christmas Break, I’ve been trying to wind down for bed by reading books instead of going on social media. What I loved about I Might Regret This, though, is that it filled my social media void really effectively; her style made me feel like I was reading someone’s blog (or, at times, her journal). Each chapter covers a leg of her trip (usually a day of driving) or a town she stopped in, and offers a nice balance between the place itself and the thoughts each place prompts in her mind. Since I only read it at night, it took me almost two months to finish, but it kind of mimicked the pace of driving across the country over a month of the summer.
Humor: As I read, I also paid attention in the back of my mind to Jacobson’s practice of humor. This sounds silly, but lately I am trying to learn the art/science of being funny. So I took note of how Jacobson went about developing her punchlines (whether over the course of a chapter or only a sentence) and I actually learned some techniques! For example, the use of intensity, the buildup to a punchline, willingness to embarrass oneself.
Style Review and Rating:
Jacobson doesn’t write like an academic scholar or saturate her text with metaphors. Her book is straightforward, funny, and candid— reader friendly and easy to consume. Jacobson is a comedian and actress by trade, so she knows how to captivate readers; she offers a good variety of storytelling, stream of consciousness musings, lists, and deep thoughts— all scattered with her humor throughout. (I actually laughed out loud at a few points while reading this).
That said, if you’re looking for the meaning of life or for literary, artful writing, I Might Regret This isn’t going to meet that need. (Since it’s not meant to). Again, this is the very reason why I enjoyed the book; since I usually read it at the end of a long day, it was the perfect way to wind down; I could still keep up with what she was saying even if I wasn’t mentally sharp. Sometimes you need a book to chew on, and sometimes you just want something easily digestible; I Might Regret This was the latter.
All in all, I would rate the book a 7.5/10.
Favorite Quotes:
What I love about Jacobson is that she’s wildly relatable. Second to her humor, it’s her biggest asset as a writer. I chose a lot of these as favorite quotes because they struck me as highly relatable personally, or universally true.
Jacobson’s opening is strong because she gets so vulnerable so fast. Here’s the end of her first chapter:
“Ultimately I’m admitting that I’m scared of being alone. But aren’t we all? Isn’t that… the main thing? Aren’t we all secretly terrified that we’re not understood, not see, not loved, not wanted?” (4).
Reflecting on heartbreak:
“It’s the most terrifying thing in the world for the person you love, who loves you back, to suddenly stop, to disappear, and not want to be in your life anymore. What do you do with that?” (27).
Big Enneagram 7 Vibes:
“Then what? I’d have time to only think about this? I’d be able to fully process where I’m at and how I’ve grown and how I really feel? What am I, crazy? I needed to leave and get as far away from my normal existence as I could, as soon as possible” (33).
On choosing to be alone, and on hiding sadness from others:
“She said, ‘But you wanted this, right?’ I suppose I did. I created this, both the freedom and the loneliness… I waited until we hung up to let it fully hit me. I’d never want her to see my sadness in response to her happiness” (101).
She has these little nuggets of profundity and wisdom in the middle of an otherwise completely mundane paragraph sometimes. Here’s one:
“Ideas, love, the rare spark of creativity, are all usually found, like that gorgeous blouse, when you forget about them for a moment and go about living your life. So, I kept walking” (179).
ON BEING A WOMAN IN THE PROFESSIONAL SPHERE:
“I’m done being polite about this bullshit. My list of professional insecurities entirely stems from being a young woman. Big plot twist there!” (191).
“I’m not saying all men are mediocre in any way, in fact, I know numerous (six-to-seven) extraordinary men, but in a competitive work environment, show me the number of mediocre men succeeding, versus the zero number of mediocre women at the top. Mediocrity isn’t a part of the successful women’s handbook, but I’m sorry, boys, for you it is” (192). Damn!
On getting older (this sticks out to me as I enter my twenties and realize my thirties are not so far away):
“What happened to me? Is this what your thirties are all about, entering deeper and deeper in to the fear of unknown outcomes? The older I get, the more anxious, more reserved, and more particular I seem to be becoming” (210).
Also: “Some of the things we did as kids were so much easier because we weren’t really scared of anything… As adults were are so scared of everything” (296).
I promise there’s so many more good quotes and the book itself contextualizes all of these far better. These just give you a little taster to see if you want to read the book for yourself.
Unexpected Lessons
(these are completely tangential and often minor in the story, but they just widened my worldview a little bit)
-how hard it is to “make it” in the comedy industry,
-life in New York City
-Judaism for the modern American woman.
I also found it notable how not-notable Jacobson’s queer relationship was in her story. It was one of those details that she didn’t intentionally point out or explore too much, but rather, was a given. It was cool reading a gay author who didn’t feel the need to justify or explain her sexuality, and who viewed herself as more than just her sexual preferences.
Closing Thoughts
Abbi Jacobson’s book was intimate, honest, and funny! It’s an easy read which means it doesn’t require the commitment of sitting down for hours at a time. You can read a chunk in five minutes and come back to it right where you left off. After reading this, I feel like Jacobson and I could be friends– although it would be weird that I know so much about her while she knows nothing about me. The book wasn’t life changing, but it brought me lots of joy to read!
The More the Marianer 